Can We Start Again?

Series: Life of Jacob

Title: Can We Start Again?

Text: Genesis 33:1-20

Message Summary: God gives us another chance and calls us to do the same for others.

Date: 8/23/26

Good morning! My name is Matt Martinez and I am the pastor here at Renovation Church Shoreview.

Renovation Church started in Blaine over 15 years ago with a vision to share the Gospel and see lives changed by Jesus. That vision hasn't changed, but Renovation Church grew so much that Pastor David Sorn, the lead pastor over all of Renovation Church, had a heart to plant new Renovation Church locations across the north metro. Shoreview was the first, launching about four and a half months ago.

And we're excited to announce that the next location is launching in East Bethel in 2027. They'll be leasing a building up there, and we'll stay connected to both Blaine and East Bethel as we celebrate this next launch and pray for what God will do through that location in that city.

With that exciting news, let’s open up our Bibles to Genesis 33:1-20. We are nearing the end of our series of the Life of Jacob. Our passage will be on page 24 of the Bible under your chair.

A number of years ago, I was backing up my car in a parking lot, andI backed straight into a parked car behind me. I stopped, went out to inspect the damage, and it was not good. I looked around to see if anyone had seen what I had done. It looked like no one saw me and so I… got out of there… I'm just kidding.

I actually knew the owner of the car, and so I walked in, found him, and admitted what I had done. I was young, had barely any money to fix it, and my insurance would not be happy… I was in trouble. The man listened to me and then said, "It's fine, Matt. Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it." I actually protested, because it would cost him time, money, and energy. But he interrupted me: "Matt, I am giving you a second chance. Take it and go."

I took that second chance and squandered it by backing up into plenty of cars over the coming years.

You are looking at a person made up of second chances.

You may be looking for a second chance or being asked to give one. Both places are hard to be in. Jacob (the person we have studied this whole summer) needed a lot of second chances too. He had really messed up and hurt the relationship with his brother Esau, that Esau wanted to kill him if he ever saw him. Finding that out, Jacob stayed away from Esau for over 20 years.

We've been talking a lot about family dysfunction and brokenness this summer as we've worked through the life of Jacob. And while Jacob could have avoided Esau forever, Jacob decided he would go back and find his brother. Let's start reading at the big number 33.

33 Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two female servants. 2 He put the female servants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear.

3 He himself went on ahead Jacob is no longer hiding. He is owning what he did and facing whatever consequences come. and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother.

4 But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept. 5 Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children. "Who are these with you?" he asked. Jacob answered, "They are the children God has graciously given your servant." 6 Then the female servants and their children approached and bowed down. 7 Next, Leah and her children came and bowed down. Last of all came Joseph and Rachel, and they too bowed down.

Before we go further, I want to define forgiveness, because we will be leaning heavily on it today.

Forgiveness is a conscious, voluntary decision to let go of negative feelings toward someone who did you wrong. (These feelings include resentment, bitterness, anger)

Today, I am hoping and praying our passage can teach you how to give or receive forgiveness. Which may be a lot to ask, which is why we start here:

God forgives us

I recently heard a funny story about a man who died and went to heaven. St. Peter met the man who died at the gates of heaven and said, "Welcome! It’s good to have you here. If you would like to get in it's going to take a thousand points. What have you done?"

The man said, "Well, I went to church every Sunday." Peter said, "That's great! That will be twenty-five points." The man, a little taken aback, said, "Well, I tithed. I gave 10% of my income to the church." Peter nodded, "That's nice… twenty-five points." Now the man's getting nervous. "I led a Bible study." "Twenty-five points." "I did some wonderful things in my community." "Twenty-five points." Now the man is desperate. He's got a hundred points and needs nine hundred more. He says, "Well, I don't know what else to say, the only way I'll ever get in is by the grace of God!" And Peter says, "That's nine hundred points. Come on in."

We all need second chances. By God’s grace through forgiveness we are given many second chances. We can be transformed, not by what we do, but by God’s forgiveness.

Look at verse 5: Jacob says, "God has given me all of this…" In the past, he deceptively orchestrated nearly every moment of his life. Now he gives all the credit and glory to God. Why? What changed? In our passage last week, Jacob wrestles with God, and that encounter with God has changed him.

Forgiveness is a big deal, the only way you can do it right, is by first recognizing that you need to seek forgiveness from God.

Last week we talked a little about how we should do this : we need to look inward and come to grips with who we are. God already knows who you are, but wants you to confess it, to come to terms with it. Being honest and humble about who you are and what you have done. God pinpoints the exact places in Jacob's life that were causing him to hurt others. The pain Jacob experiences as God points these things out is humiliating, but they are the catalyst for forgiveness and change in Jacob’s life.

At the beginning of Jacob’s life, he fled the moment conflict came. Now, in this moment, he walks steadily toward the very brother who once vowed to kill him. He has accepted what he did and is willing to accept the consequences because he has been forgiven and changed by God. In our passage today, Jacob has stopped focusing on himself and putting himself first. He puts God first, who compels him toward reconciliation with his brother.

Verse 4 gives us a beautiful picture of forgiveness: Jacob bowing and honoring Esau, while trying to protect his family. And Esau surging forward to grab him and kiss him as they both weep.

Centuries later, Jesus tells the story of a son seeking forgiveness from a father. Both passages use strikingly similar language. In both stories, the one who did wrong comes forward in shame, only to be immediately embraced by the one they hurt. Jesus’ story is a picture of God forgiving us.

Some of you won't come to God because of the shame of what you've done. I plead with you, run to the Father. In all of Jacob’s life, he rarely gets things right; and yet God is faithful. God desires to forgive him, and then guide him and bless him.

What God has done for Jacob, He has done, and will keep doing, for you. You can be forgiven. Stop hiding behind things or people, and come be embraced by the Father.

Let’s keep reading our passage starting at the small number 8.

8 Esau asked, "What's the meaning of all these flocks and herds I met?" "To find favor in your eyes, my lord," he said. 9 But Esau said, "I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself." 10 "No, please!" said Jacob. "If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably. 11 Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need." And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted it.

God forgives us, so we must forgive others,

Colossians 3:13 –Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

So, which do you think is harder: to forgive, or to be forgiven? If you say forgiving, you're right. It means choosing to overlook the pain of the past and choosing to give the offender another chance. If you say being forgiven is harder, you're also right. It means admitting your guilt, accepting forgiveness, and agreeing to a new course of action.

Which is harder depends entirely on whether you're the offender or the victim. And I want to talk about both sides today.

If you are the offender, the pathway to forgiveness is to first get yourself in a place where you humbly receive God’s forgiveness. You have to come to a realization that no matter how much self awareness, how much self management, how many practices and habits you form, you will not be able to be forgiven on your own, you cannot make up for what you did. You need God in his mercy and his grace to forgive and give you a second chance.

Then, you need to take that same posture you had with God, and take it to the person you have hurt. Jacob gives a great picture of the posture of humility, bowing seven times (culturally appropriate for approaching a king at that time), waiting for the person to talk first instead of you initiating the conversation, and then making amends.

Jacob does this by sending Esau a bunch of animals. The amends he sent over to Esau were worth millions of dollars. It was equal to the blessing that he deceptively took from Esau.

Was the blessing and promise Jacob’s in the first place, yes. But Jacob did not need to deceive Esau, he needed to trust God, and so Jacob made sure to communicate through his generosity that he was sorry. This approach is good in asking for forgiveness.

Finally, you should view the person you hurt like you are approaching God. Jacob says, “seeing you is like seeing the face of God”.

The person seeking forgiveness must take on the posture of a repentant servant, ready, willing, and already making changes.

Now we have to come to the other side and talk about how we forgive those who have hurt us.

Some of you are thinking about the pain, hurt, fights, or abuse you've experienced. "Matt, you have no idea what I've gone through. There's no way I can forgive." And to that I say, “yes, I am sorry.” And in compassion, I want to help you out here.

I talked earlier about what forgiveness is. Now I want to talk about what forgiveness is not: forgiveness is not forgetting (the memory may remain, but it loses its grip on us); it's not excusing (the bad action still isn't okay); and it doesn't mean you always have to be best friends afterward. Forgiveness is simply the conscious, voluntary decision to let go of resentment, bitterness, and anger toward someone who wronged you.

A few thoughts here: Esau is a great example for the people who have to forgive. Esau had a humble posture and perspective about himself. He was aware of who he was, what he had unwisely, but intentionally given up. He was aware of the promise that God had given to Jacob that he had tried to get even though it wasn’t his… and he was aware that he was wronged. Esau never carried a sense of superiority over Jacob. You can see this in verse 8, where Jacob's generosity catches Esau off guard.

Additionally, Esau does not attempt to get revenge. When we are hurt, it is the most natural thing to want to hurt that person back. Choosing to not hurt the person who hurt you, does not mean you are overlooking the offense, it means that you will not perpetuate the offense.

Jacob spent all this time dreading and praying about this reunion. And while Jacob prayed, we see God had been working in Esau's heart. Esau's forgiveness is an answer to Jacob’s prayer earlier.

This is a reminder to pray for reconciliation before you ever try it. Time with God is really the only way we can truly forgive. It helps us remember that we are first forgiven… and so we must forgive others.

The forgiveness journey shouldn't be walked alone. Pray about it, seek the Lord's guidance in it. Then you have a church full of people who are full of second chances themselves; let them pray with you and support you.

Finally, forgiveness brings something into our lives if we embrace it. Let’s finish up our passage, starting at the small number 12.

12 Then Esau said, "Let us be on our way; I'll accompany you." 13 But Jacob said to him, "My lord knows that the children are tender and that I must care for the ewes and cows that are nursing their young. If they are driven hard just one day, all the animals will die. 14 So let my lord go on ahead of his servant, while I move along slowly at the pace of the flocks and herds before me and the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir." 15 Esau said, "Then let me leave some of my men with you." "But why do that?" Jacob asked. "Just let me find favor in the eyes of my lord." 16 So that day Esau started on his way back to Seir. 17 Jacob, however, went to Sukkoth, where he built a place for himself and made shelters for his livestock. That is why the place is called Sukkoth. 18 After Jacob came from Paddan Aram, he arrived safely at the city of Shechem in Canaan and camped within sight of the city. 19 For a hundred pieces of silver, he bought from the sons of Hamor, the father of Shechem, the plot of ground where he pitched his tent. 20 There he set up an altar and called it El Elohe Israel.

God forgives us, so we must forgive others, because there is freedom in forgiveness

There is freedom in forgiveness if we release the outcome of forgiveness to the Lord.

Esau didn't need Jacob's gifts or his words in order to forgive him. It was already given freely before Jacob ever opened his mouth. And Esau doesn't stop at words, he backs it up with action, offering to travel alongside Jacob.

You've probably heard the phrase: “unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the person who hurt you dies.”

Nothing is accomplished if the offender won't apologize, and nothing is accomplished if the offended won't receive it. Forgiveness doesn't mean the action was okay, it means you're free from the grip of it.

Both brothers now are not angry, scared, threatened, or trying to grab stuff that isn’t theirs to control. They are offering protection, giving gifts, and making introductions. It is an amazing moment.

But perhaps you noticed something in our passage, that I think makes the Bible so authentic and real. Not everything snaps back to normal the moment Esau forgives Jacob. The relationship between the two brothers is still a little awkward, even when the forgiveness is real. Esau offers to travel with Jacob, but Jacob politely declines. Jacob promises to follow Esau to Seir, but never goes. The relationship is still a little weird.

Does that diminish the reconciliation? Not at all. It just shows how difficult reconciliation is. Twenty years of separation had built real distance that couldn't be waved away in an afternoon. Maybe Jacob feared that getting too close to Esau's world would revive old rivalries. Maybe he was simply stunned by Esau's openness and didn't know what to do with it. There's truth in this for us too. There are people we can be better friends with when we don't see them constantly, and family we love more when we don't share the same zip code.

The reconciliation between brothers is real. Forgiveness is offered and accepted. The relationship is restored. But they can't simply roll back the clock as if nothing ever happened.

But there is some hope here. A few chapters later, Genesis 36:6–8 tells us Jacob and Esau bury their father side by side and live near each other until their households grow too large to share the land. We can see that their relationship continues.

So, is healing possible? Yes. Is it difficult? Yes. Will it change the past? No. What forgiveness does is set us free from the past so we can move into the future.

Jacob was not perfect after his encounter with God and with Esau. He kept making mistakes, and he and his family paid some sad consequences for it. He needs forgiveness from God again and again. So do we.

Conclusion

God offers you a second chance, no matter what you've done. God will continue to forgive you when you humbly come and repent. God can forgive even the worst of sins because of Jesus.

Tim Keller tells a story about a lamp. When you break a lamp in someone's home, someone always pays. You can pay by replacing it. The homeowner can pay by replacing it themselves. Or, if no one buys a new lamp, the homeowner still pays — with the loss of light. Someone had to pay for the sin we committed. Jesus paid that price so we could be forgiven.

Sin, all the wrong things we have done and continue to do, creates this chasm between us and God. And no matter what we do, we cannot earn enough points to get back into a relationship with God. Only Jesus, who died on a cross for our sins, pays the debt so that we are forgiven and restored into a relationship with God.

You can be forgiven by God today. Will you?

Gospel Invitation

Story about my friends from Rwanda.